Wait. Watch. Pray

Thursday, July 19, 2012

As part of my 30 things to do before I turn 30 list, I vowed to read the Bible all the way through.  I have never actually done this!  I have tried many times to do something similar, but usually it’s a goal like reading the Bible in 90 days (which adds to like 16 or 18 chapters a day), and it feels impossible – not to mention I am so focused on making sure I get through, I don’t actually know what I read.  I get behind, never to get caught back up.  I wanted to give myself plenty of time, knowing that if I miss some days, I can easily catch up. 

So far I am keeping up, reading about 5 pages a day, which is usually 3-4 chapters.  It doesn’t take a “stressful” amount of time, knowing I can also take time to reflect on what I am reading while I am reading it.  I try to highlight some verses along the way, read the devotionals within the Bible as they come up, and just be able to use this time each day to see what the Lord is teaching me.

So far all I can say is Wow!  I don’t know that I have been particularly “challenged”, but I do know the Lord will use this next year to challenge me to a new lifestyle.  He wants me to be in His word daily and has been trying to call me to obedience to this for a while.  He always wants our obedience, and some days we forget to give it (or maybe we miss what he wants from us for a time).

Blake and I have been back in the States for more than 6 months now.  We had planned to return the middle of June, but the days just keep adding on.  We find ourselves getting discouraged.  We have said all along, “Lord if you continue to provide we will continue to serve”.  So, we ask ourselves did we miss something along the way?  Were we supposed to make this decision or that decision…what if we are waiting for something that is never going to happen?  What if’s seem to enter into our vocabulary daily, and while we truly do believe that the Lord is going to provide…we still find ourselves at a daily battle with ourselves and the Lord.

We have learned so much about faith over the past 3 years, that you would think we should just “get it”, maybe the Lord is saying umm…duh…just get it.  But yet I don’t think he loses his patience with us the way we do with others, or even sometimes with God.  So that must simply mean there is more to our time in the States than we realize.  My devotional reading this morning reminded me that our current situation of waiting on our fundraising goals is not something I have control over.  I want to solve this problem and I want to do it in MY way and MY time. 

While we wait, the Lord is challenging Blake and I as a couple.  He is asking us to be content in every situation.  He is challenging us to encourage each other as a couple, reminding us that when we leave for South Sudan, only the 2 of us are going.  We are not taking with us friends and family, we are going as a couple, fulfilling a call He has given to us as a couple. 

Sometimes we find ourselves wanting to change a situation, or “fix” it, but we can’t help but feel we have been put on the sideline.  We wait, we watch and we pray.  Other than that there is absolutely nothing we can do to solve the problem.

Truth be told, I think maybe the Lord is trying to utilize this time to show us that sometimes the best action is from the sideline: waiting, watching and praying.  When the time is right, God will guide us to action.  That action will be in His perfect timing and perfect plan.  May I learn to be patient while waiting, watching and praying.