Man of this Soil

February 23, 2011

For the last year, Blake and I have been trying to “fit” into the culture of Africa, or at least be accepted into it! I have shared that we have learned a few phrases and words in Kinyarwanda to break the ice, especially when we visit our little churches in the middle of the villages. When we visit our churches, almost every time, we are invited to then have lunch at the pastor’s house with his family. When our work takes us outside of Kigali, and we have to stay overnight somewhere, we have made the attempt (if possible) to stay with a family, instead of at a hotel. We have truly been invited in and received well when we ask for this as an option, and for the last year we have been making and growing our relationships with so many of our district leaders and pastors. I truly feel as though I have a second family in Africa. In fact, this is starting to feel more and more like home!

While being in Africa, we have had to learn to adapt to many things, and through cultural transition, you have learn to evaluate many things, and decide what types of things are not as important from the American culture, and what is very important. As well as what is important for building relationships in African culture, which maybe is against “what we are used to”, and for the last year we have everyday learned something new about the culture. By asking questions, and taking advice, we have become aware of things, which may be perceived as rude in the culture. Let me give you an example…we went to lunch with one of our district leaders; he picked up the check and paid for lunch. When we asked later, how much we owe him for lunch, he said that it is a bad question. In his culture, if he picks up the check it is because he is going to pay, not to then later tell us we have to pay him back. If we pick up the check it is because we are going to pay. There is no “splitting it down the middle” like we may be accustomed to. By asking questions, and having spent time building the relationships we have made, our friendships are open enough, that if we cross the boundaries of culture, someone is likely willing to tell us, AND explain why, what we have done is perceived negatively in the culture.

During this year of building relationships and asking questions, to find out more about the culture, we have also learned, that in certain areas of travel (more specifically, in DR Congo), there is a “game” that has to be played in order to be accepted into the culture. Again, let me give you an example, when Blake was trying to cross the border from Rwanda to Congo, he was told that he had to pay $15 for some reason (now of course he didn’t really have to pay, but they thought for sure, they could convince him he had to pay, because surely this muzungu who barely speaks a word of French wouldn’t know better). When Blake was told he had to pay, he said “oh, sorry I don’t have the money to pay that fee, but you know who does? My pastor, come one lets go find him, he will pay the $15.” Of course the man was not allowed to leave his post, and also knew that if they found Blake’s pastor, the pastor would know Blake didn’t ACTUALLY have to pay that fee. Blake won the “game”, and walked away from the border crossing, not having paid this fake fee that most people that are not aware of the culture would have paid. From this time forward, Blake has been given the name, by our pastors and district leaders, Mwanamboka (which means man from this soil or land). After spending the last year, trying to be accepted into the culture, I would suspect that having been given the names Mwanamboka, and for me, Madam Mwanamboka (trust me, I can keep up with the game when I have to:)), I think it is safe to say that we have been accepted by our peers, who are truly from the African culture. May we continue to learn more about the culture in the next year to come!