Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’
Wednesday, October 9th, 2013
Jaime, I’m afraid you have competition this week, for the title of the very worst missionary. Let’s face it. I’m an introvert. I’m an introverted missionary, working in a culture were friendship is about talking over a cup of tea. Friendship is always being ready and willing to stop what you’re doing, and hosting someone at your house. Never worrying about the work you can’t do. The conversations you can’t have because of the language barrier. I live in a culture where friendship is about seeing and visiting people from sun up to sun down, every day of every week. I live in a culture of extroverts!
I also live on a property that’s a school/training facility for orphans, widows and handicap people. I live on a property with a guesthouse. I live on a property with a half built orphanage. I live on a property that sits next door to the boys’ house and the girls’ house. I live on a property with a small prayer house. And I live directly in the CENTER of this property. I can’t hide, even if I wanted to.
School has recently started back and I have one friend that lives in the girls’ house (unfortunately she loves me much more than I can reciprocate at times), she has SO much energy it exhausts me. I use my French and we can talk and dialogue together. It is a great way to practice my French, but she is much more interested in learning English than practicing my French. She is so passionate about life, always smiling and so happy to see me every day! In fact she is SO excited, she can barely wait until the next morning to see me again. I have to admit, today I hid in my bed and refused to open the door when I heard her calling “Lindsey, Hello, Lindsey” bright and early at 6:30! …And then again at 7:30, and then again after school at 12:30…and this isn’t the first day this has happened.
Last night she ran after my taxi driver as soon as I arrived back home and she followed me into my house. I sat and talked with her for close to an hour, before I told her I was going to walk her back to her house. This morning I talked to her until she was late for school, but this afternoon, I politely told her I still have work to do. To which she responded, “What time will you be free? – I will come back when you are free and we can talk all night!” Now you understand why I can’t reciprocate the love.
I officially awarded myself the title of very worst missionary on Friday night. Blake and I had just returned from the office, we were getting him packed and ready for a trip, when Jocelyn came over. I heard her calling from the path well before she ever arrived. I jumped up, quickly turned off all the lights, and closed all the doors and curtains to the house. I turned off our music and ducked down below the windows. And whispered to Blake… “Be very quite.” “Hello, Blake, Hello, Lindsey. I’m here. Hello???” After about 10 minutes or more of silence, she left.
Was it rude? Sure. Is there a better way to handle this situation? Probably. Of course, as an introverted person that hates conflict, it’s much easier for me to pretend to that I’m not home than to come face to face with my fear that I may actually have to talk to her every single day! Or better yet, I may actually have to find a gentile way to tell her that she just can’t come over every day. How do you explain the need for privacy, when she lives in a 1-bedroom house shared with 8 other girls?
Pray for my heart. Pray for discernment on how to set boundaries in this situation. Pray for Jocelyn, as a teenage girl, an orphan, just looking for someone to love on her, a friend and a mentor. Pray that the Lord will show me exactly how He wants me to be involved in Jocelyn’s life. But until then, I am signing off as, Lindsey, the very worst missionary.