Journey of God’s Will – Learning to Listen, Obey and…Wait!

Monday, October 31, 2011

 

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send?  And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I.  Send me!”  Isaiah 6:8.

 

Five years ago, I could have never imagined saying these words, and now almost 2 years after our move to Africa, Blake and I are still reflecting on what these words have meant for us.  We set out on our journey, knowing only the few things we were sure about.  We knew we would have to truly learn what it means to rely on God, for his timing and his resources; we knew that we were now learning to live simpler, condensing our lives into a few checked suitcases, and we knew that we were making a commitment we had no idea where it would lead, other than, “are you willing to go, knowing I will do the leading and guiding?”

 

In short, these last 2 years have had its moments; some of the most difficult and defining moments in our lives have been lived in the past 2 years.  I have gone through a complete identity crisis, one I have shared about in a previous blog post; as a couple, Blake and I have learned how we handle stress, how we argue, how we communicate (and how we don’t communicate)!  We have gone through times of deep spiritual darkness, but also some of our most growth spiritually has happened in these last 2 years.

 

We have gone through a journey learning that we have left a culture of “productivity” as defined in a completely different way than here in Africa.  We have learned to have more patience, and yet we still surprise ourselves when we don’t practice what we have learned.  In the states, we both had our 8-5 jobs, plus…fill in the blank…church, bible study, family, friends, entertainment, vacation, anything else that we were “expected” to do, as defined by the culture we were raised in.  We have moved to a role, where our position is more support based, so while we have hands on work, and we have filled our time with other tasks and projects as we are asked to do, the reality is that we do not always have work 100% of the time.  We are still in a developing field; there are big visions, with small resources.  We try to encourage our leaders to use the resources they have to begin their work in a small scale, but for Blake and I, we sometimes find ourselves in a “waiting” period.

 

During those times of waiting it’s easy to get discouraged.  We read about family members celebrating birthdays, and events in our home church happening.  We hear about holiday events, and exciting things happening in the lives of our friends, pregnancies, births, graduations, marriages, just to name a few.  We sit together, talking, praying, wondering: what is next for us…will there continue to be the need for us in 2012?  Will there continue to be work that requires our attention in another 2 years?  We struggle through those questions, asking “Lord…we thought this was your will for us?  We thought you wanted us to continue work in Africa.  Lord, we thought you wanted us to be here long term?”  As soon as we get past this waiting period, we appreciate all over again the time we had because suddenly, we are really busy, and asking when are we going to get a break!

 

I just finished reading the book “Forgotten God”, and I read some things that are exactly similar to this situation.  In talking about God’s will for our lives, Francis Chan say’s that there are very few people in scripture who received their life plan from God in advance.  Think about Abraham, he was only asked to pack up his family and all his possessions and start walking, he didn’t know where he was going of if he would be back, but he knew that God said go, and so he did.  Chan later says, “We forget that we were never promised a twenty-year plan of action; God promises multiple times in Scripture never to leave or forsake us.”  He reminds us that while he may lead us and guide us to our purpose, God never promises to reveal these purposes all at once, in advance.  I don’t know if I should be relieved by this or wishing he would reveal the next 20 years?  I know I am encouraged…knowing that just because we are going through a waiting period, that doesn’t mean we are not doing exactly what the Lord’s will for our life is. 

 

I think that if the Lord had revealed all of the struggles we would go through before we came to Africa, it’s quite possible we would have never agreed to come!  We look back at our 2 years and can honestly say there is not one thing we would change.  Even some of the things we faced, as difficult as they were, we look back and can see exactly why we suffered through that storm.  But yet, why do I still feel like I know best for MY life, instead of letting the Lord reveal in his time, what HE knows is best for my life?  I think this is all part of the journey of seeking hard after the spirit’s leading in my life daily, so that the Lord has a chance to reveal the next part of His plan for my life.  This is a journey I continue to be on, and a journey I hope to always stay on!