Learning to Say Goodbye

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

For the last year, Blake and I have found ourselves hanging out with “the girls in the little orange house”. We met the first girl in a surprisingly “small world”, her being close friends with an old roommate of mine. After connecting with her, we were introduced to her 3 other roommates, all of which we were able to later call our closest friends in Kigali.

For the last year, we have enjoyed each other so much. We have discussed our deepest struggles, we have all experienced homesickness at different times, we have all gone through stages of culture shock, and we have all learned to rely on the Lord during times we needed to the most, and during times we didn’t know how. For it being our first year as missionaries, and for me, my first year truly living away from family, I am so thankful that the Lord provided for me some close girlfriends to have as fellowship, while learning and adjusting to my different life.

The 4 roommates were all here interning with International Justice Mission. Now the time has come, that only 1 of the 4 girls remains in Kigali, and she is set to return home on Friday. I am terrible with goodbyes, and each one has become harder and harder, as my relationship with each girl is different. I try to keep the goodbyes short, as I don’t like the awkward silence that usually follows, nor the feeling of sadness if we linger too long. With some of the girls, I believe that we have formed lasting relationships, which makes the goodbye more difficult, knowing that while we were so close in proximity for a year, it may be months or years before our paths will cross again in the same closeness in proximity.

As we have been slowing saying goodbye, Blake and I have talked more and more about the topic of what will things be like for us moving forward? We have said that as long as the Lord provides and as long as the Lord continues to guide us to Africa, we will continue to be in obedience to his call. As there are more NGO’s and more businesses developing in Africa, there are more expats coming and going on a regular basis. This means that as long as we stay in Africa (or on the mission field period), we will regularly meet people; we may quickly form bonds, and then part ways with sad goodbyes. Does this mean that we shouldn’t form close relationships? Of course not, but I believe that the Lord is teaching me through this experience, how to trust in his timing, and also how to continue to build relationships even from a distance. I think this is going to be a valuable lesson in the long run, because as our time in Africa increases, our time away from home also increases. This means as our friends are coming and going, the long lasting relationships will be developed through learning to communicate at a distance. I hope to learn this next year how to keep in better contact with friends at a distance, than I have the first year here.