My God Ordained Paradise

Monday, April 18, 2016

I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. Psalm 3:4

It has been months since I’ve written a blog post.  It’s not from lack of things to say, perhaps not even lack of time (although that is part of it), but just that one hasn’t been written.  But currently this is my view as I sit and write this one.

Snowy Colorado friends, jealous much?  In all honesty though I can’t even tell you what this current place means to me.  We’ve spent a lot of time adjusting to our new life, and new routine here.  It’s been busy in so many ways.  And I’ve cried more tears in this transition than others before.  (Is it ok to be this vulnerable?)  We’ve moved so many times, and each time has had its own challenges, but we’ve never moved with a child.  I’m sure that’s played the biggest role for me in my challenges, that and perhaps the pregnancy hormones (yeah that’s it, let’s blame it on those).

Gisenyi is such a beautiful place, and there isn’t anywhere that Maddy and I can’t go.  We have freedom and we walk almost everywhere, but this is the first time we’ve lived somewhere without a missionary community.  This is the first time we’ve moved somewhere with a completely active, social toddler and the first time I’ve felt like I can’t offer her a social outlet.  Don’t get me wrong, we walk on the road and see “kids” on the street.  And when we go to church on Sunday’s there are plenty of kids she hangs out with and she is CRAZY around them!  She sings and dances and does everything she knows how to do in order to get attention, and Maddy already knows a few words in the local language, Kinyarwanda.  But our life here is very different.  Different is good, change is good, ministry is good.  But sometimes different can be difficult.

There are days that I crave a play group, or a park, or an English women’s Bible Study.  A library time, a church nursery, or a MOPS group.  A close friend to share my frustrations about my ever changing toddler (who I’m now convinced is hitting her two’s).  The sleep issues we’ve been having, how to know if I’m doing the right thing at times, how to know when to potty train.  A mom friend that can encourage me, even when I can’t encourage myself.  I’ve cried many tears convinced that Maddy needs more than I can offer, but Maddy is happy.  She’s thriving and loves her life here.  But there are days that I still need a place that we can go that is kid friendly for Maddy and relaxing for mom.

And then by chance, NOPE by a God ordained circumstance, a friend and I found this place.  We were going to go together to eat dinner at one restaurant, that particular restaurant was closed…so we were going to go to another place, and then said let’s try this hotel that we pass by almost everyday and see what it has.  That’s when we found it!  The perfect place for both mom and toddler.

A place with lots of grass for Maddy to run, a fully legitimate park, with slides, swings, climbing things, a trampoline, a swimming pool, a beautiful garden, and some sort of beautiful peacock.  The place I’ve been praying for, craving to have and shedding tears for not having.  The perfect place to come to get energy out of an active toddler that isn’t always on a busy road, isn’t always me having to chase her over rocks or before she takes a tumble down a steep hill, but a place that I can sit, and write a blog, knowing she is safe to roam.  This hasn’t solved her safe social outlets, but that can come with time.  For right now at this moment, this place is my answer to prayer.  This place is my paradise.  My perfect, God ordained, paradise.